Well, well, well....

It's been a long minute since a proper blog post on here... I don't know if this quick blurb will count as proper but, here goes!

Still in Michigan even though my residency here went away for a second a while back, I'm here and plan to stay! It's raining like crazy here now and we have heard that it'll only stop when it starts snowing lol! Yay, snow!

Ok, so on my mother's health front there isn't much new and improved... They changed her muscle relaxer dosage because it was too much too often for her already diminished muscle control. They added a new medication to her already long list. I'm not sure what her jaw surgeon said during her last visit but I will find out when I call her maybe tomorrow.

I'm single right now (well sorta) I have someone who I would love more than anything to pursue a relationship with but he is an hour away so there are issues... I'm interested enough that I finally deleted all my adult networking site accounts. Granted those needed to go anyway on account of them being sleazy... Guess we shall see where life takes my personal life...

I do want to say that I'm thankful for my best friend Kristal who through all that goes on she remains a voice of reason whether I wanna hear it or not. Sometimes I need that... Things are looking up for us lately and I'm hoping that life will level out for us all soon.

Ok, I'll post more frequent detailed updates as I can. Goodbye for now! Luvs!

Wordless Wednesday - Remembrance

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Florence + The Machine - Dog Days Are Over (2010 Version)

This song is totally my personal anthem right now!

Old DRAMA, New TOWN....

Hmmm, well lets see... To start, I'm outta KY! Michigan is really amazing so far I'm in love with the water! Sometimes, sure I miss my family but I have to do this "being on my own" thing because I can't depend on my family forever. Joseph is growing up, LOL!
Now for details... I got up here and pulled an old Joseph thing and fell for someone... He was great (or so it seemed) we have a lot in common, he is hott, and I really felt comfortable around him... We didn't mess around and for once that was alright. I was simply enjoying time... He told me about his troubled past and I understood we would take it slow... He mentioned to me that his friends were trying to set him up with this kid, and he was going with them to the pond... (flag one should have been here) Over the next couple days he got distant and when he messaged again he was different. So we talked and come to find out he said he had feelings for this boy... (yay, life is fun) He told me that clearly I was the smarter, safer, and more comfortable choice (I shouldn't be a "choice" I should be an everything). Yesterday he messaged me saying he and this boy were gonna try things out (insert psycho snap here). After all this they both decide to invite me over to hang today... (didn't go) So yesterday was Douchebag Day!
Oh, and on a new note my g-ma texted today telling me that Baby (my mom's pet dog/daughter and my little sister of 17 years) is not doing well! My mom is so troubled by it that she had to see her doctor on her lunch today... I want that dog to live forever... My mom will lose it totally!
More to come soon... Oh and even though you won't see this thank you Corey for helping me smile over the last two days! The biggest thanks as always goes to my BFF Kristal! Love you girl, thanks for keeping my crazy ass in check!

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New Car????

Well, my red Firebird died today.... Ok, so it's the starter but this car has been nothing but trouble since I got it. It's been in wreck after wreck, and had more issues than Time Magazine!

It's has no working heat or air, neither window will work anymore, the headlights won't go up and down (they are stuck in the up position which makes it look like a frogs eyes), power steering leak, etc. etc.... I am so overdue for a non-lemon automobile!

My mom and grandparents are talking about getting me another car. I was told today that they are going Monday to try and work out a deal on this really cute black Acura that my grandpa took me to see just a bit ago. It's super cute and has leather seats and a built in gps!

I was proud of myself! When he asked what I wanted so that he knew what to look for I told him anything other than my car! Beggars can't be choosers... I do really hope that this new car thing works itself out, I mean afterall being stranded really sucks and I will be able to pay them back soon I hope!

Anyway, I was just wanting to talk about that for a second... Update ya later!

Mom's Latest Dr. Visit....

I called mom today to see what her doctor said at her appointment in Nashville. I thought she went to see her MS doctor but instead it was with her maxo-facial surgeon or something like that. She goes to him now to work out the issues with her TMJ....
Apparently she was told yesterday that she has to have braces put on her teeth to help re-adjust her jaws. Those will stay on and be adjusted monthly for about 12 months. Following that will be a surgery to aid the jaw repair. Then braces again for several more months. All in all the doctor said the process would take about 24 months.
Mom had good spirits about this news she was joking about how the doctor said that she had elongated jaws and a big chin (and if that leads anyone to get visions of some deformity just scroll down and look at my mom's pic in an earlier post, she is the most beautiful woman I know)! LOL, she said that she called my grandparents after the appointment to thank them for having genes that didn't mix well. She is silly!

Oh yeah, she also invited me to go Sunday to watch the new Shrek movie. I do love a good 3D movie!

Where to start....

You know for the past few days I have been thinking about writing this new blog... I have thought and thought about how to say all those things that I want to say. Hell, some of those things feel like they should be screamed. Maybe if I just start typing my mind will just let it flow...

To start, I am still lost and hurt about my mother's condition. Yeah some time has passed since her diagnosis and treatment began. In all I suppose that her meds are helping I mean the doctors think that her progression is slowing somewhat. I don't see it, she is still suffering from so many spells and weak days. I just don't see what it was that she did in life to justify something this bad happening to her. She is the most amazing woman and the universes best mom! I know that it can't be looked at as a punishment I mean bad things happen to good people all the time (sometimes it actually seems to happen a lot). The doctors said that once her MS hits a plateau they can switch her meds to a less intense medicine with less side effects. She had an appointment in Nashville yesterday and I have yet to hear how that went (I need to call her soon). It's just been so hard seeing the biggest icon and role model in my life get hit so hard by something...

Oh my, Oh my.... My personal life (i.e. relationships and the like...) has been a total wreck! I am fairly certain that I posted about Levi and the relationship we had. I realized the other day that I really have only "dated" one guy since then. There have been a few hookups (yes, I know those are not good) but really nothing by way of relationships except for Chris. I am not totally certain what it was I had with Chris... I've wrestled with thoughts about it for a bit. I can't decide if I was in love with him so I figure that means no I wasn't. What I had with Chris was good for me, I needed something to help me get my life out of the trash that I was rolling in. I think that maybe if so many things weren't kept from me and hidden then possibly I would have loved Chris.

I realize as I write this that I perhaps should do a few individual blogs to further explain some things in greater detail I mean I'm cramming like 8 months worth of crap into this one post... LOL!

I do want to talk a bit about an epiphany that I had just a day or so back. I was sitting at my Grandma's house after coming back from a wonderful visit with Levi and Eva when I decided to put on my big boy pants and stop letting everything in life slip through my fingers. I'm tired of taking a backseat when it comes to controlling my life! I figured out that happiness doesn't just come to you, it's something you attain by getting up and reaching for it. Too long have I sat listlessly and watched everything that I've loved and needed in my life slip away because I wasn't fighting for it! The Joseph that was so weak that he spent the whole month of Nov. in a mental hospital is no more. I'm tired of focusing on all the shoulda, coulda, woulda's and am ready to focus on my shall, can, and will's! Hehe, maybe things won't always go how I want them to but I'm damn sure never going to find out if I don't try!

I didn't get everything out in this post but I chipped at the mountain of stuff and feel a little better for it... More blogging to come soon TRUST ME! (I got some funny crazy house stories lol)